What I Read | April 2020

April was quite the reading month for me! I read nine books in total and felt like I really found my groove with reading this month, since I’ve cut back so much on watching tv and being on my phone. One of the benefits of being stuck inside all day, is that it gives me a lot of time to read and really get stuck into a book and feel full immersed in the process of reading. Overall, I really liked the majority of the books that I read this last month and I know that I have a lot more to look forward to in May!

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern ~ I’m not usually one for fantasy, but I had heard so much about this book from a few friends of mine who really loved it recommended that I read it anyways. The book is about a young man named Zachary Ezra Rawlins, who is wandering through his school library one day and picks up a random book and as he starts reading the book he realizes that the book is his life story. He ends up on a fantastical journey trying to figure out where this book is from and is whisked up into an alternate universe that is at risk of being destroyed. Overall I really liked this book, it definitely is a great one if you like fantasy and want a bit of escapism. At times, the writing felt a bit too meandering and I had to remind myself what was going on at times, which was a bit annoying. This book made me more interested in trying out some more fantasy novels in the future.

The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead ~ As I’m writing this post I just found out that Colson Whitehead has won the 2020 Pulitzer Prize for this book! This book is about a boy named Elwood, who is living in segregated Tallahassee during the 1960s, and is sent to a brutal reformatory school and there he is exposed to abuse and violence. Elwood is a firm believer in Dr. King’s nonviolent movement, but being at The Nickel Academy as well as his peers and their beliefs, test his ideology and his firm belief in non-violence. This book is incredibly thought-provoking, yet manages to be subtle even while confronting truly horrific history. I do wish that this book had been a tad longer so we could have delved a bit deeper into certain sections, but overall I appreciate how much Whitehead packed into such a short novel. This is easily one of the best books I have read this year and it will most likely be in my top picks from 2020.

Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid ~ And the first disappointing book of the month award goes too… Ok first off, this book is so hyped up, which always makes me far more critical of a book because I’m expecting it to be great (is that unfair?). Any-who, this book is about Emira, a 20-something African-American woman, who babysits for a white family. She is called in to help out the family she babysits for on short notice after a night out with her friends, and is asked to take the young daughter, Briar, out of the house whilst the parents deal with the police (their house got egged). At the grocery store Emira is accused of kidnapping Briar by the security guard on duty. The plot devolves from that point and explores the relationship between Emira and Briar’s mother Alix, a woman who tries so hard to be an ally that she ends up doing the opposite, as well as the role that race and privilege play a role in both women’s lives. I didn’t think this book was horrible, in fact I thought the plot, at the beginning was engaging and thought-provoking, and that the central themes of white savior-hood and privilege are certainly important topics that should be explored more. Where things went wrong for me was the writing, I thought that overall the dialogue was flat and dull and the plot lost it’s way about halfway through. I also thought that Emira’s boyfriend and Alix were pretty insufferable characters, which is kind of the point, but it was so over the top that it made the book less than enjoyable to read at times.

Lanny by Max Porter ~ Unlike Such A Fun Age, I went into reading Lanny with almost zero expectations and loved it so much! This book is definitely experimental both in its form and content, which I imagine some will love and some definitely will not. Lanny is about a small village outside of London, which is inhabited by a local spirit called Dead Papa Toothwort, who listens to the village people and becomes fascinated by a young boy named Lanny. Though Lanny is the main character of the book, we never actually hear from him, but rather the adults that have the most influence over him, that is to say, his mother, his father and “Mad” Pete (a local artist who takes Lanny under his wing as a kind of protégé). I loved this book’s structure as well the depiction of childhood imagination, and the process by which children lose that imagination as they get older. I definitely see myself re-reading this in the future.

You Never Forget Your First: A Biography of George Washington by Alexis Coe ~ Yet another book I had high expectations for that ultimately let me down. I was so excited to read this book because 1. I’m a history nerd (I majored in history in college) and 2. Coe sets out to bring a new perspective and analysis to the life and legacy of George Washington’s life. The reason why I didn’t like this book is because there was absolutely no analysis, and as someone who studied history and has read a decent amount of historical writing, I expect exhaustive and extensive analysis when I read an historical book. I don’t think that I’m this book’s intended audience because it is meant to be a more popular history book, but even still, I wish Coe hadn’t been so rushed in her description of George Washington (this book is a mere 300 pages and spends about 40 pages on his presidency).

The Secrets We Kept by Lara Prescott ~ This is a work of historical fiction about the Cold War and the role the CIA played in disseminating the famous Russian novel, Doctor Zhivago, in order to undermine the Soviet Union. I really expected this to be a crossover between a spy novel and an historical fiction, and while the beginning really built up momentum, the last third of the book fell flat plot-wise and ended up turning into a love story, which was a bit disappointing. This book is ok, it’s an easy read overall, but I think there are better works of historical fiction that are based around similar subject matter.

The Idiot by Elif Batuman ~ This book is quite a divisive one, some people absolutely hate it, while others love it. I happen to fall in the category of those who love this book. The main issue people have with this book is the fact that it doesn’t have a plot, but I’m a firm believer that a book doesn’t need a plot to have meaning. This book is about a college freshman named Selin, who embarks on her first year at Harvard and navigates new friendships and academic life. This book made me tear up and laugh out loud, and I could relate so much to Selin and her experiences. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more nostalgic for college and academic life as I did when I read The Idiot.

These Ghosts Are Family by Maisy Card ~ Last book of the April! This book is about Abel Paisley, who faked his own death decades ago, and assumed the identity of his friend, Stanford Solomon. Abel left behind a wife and a family back in Jamaica when he faked his death and started anew with his second wife in New York, the consequences of which reverberate for generation. The narrative perspective constantly jumps around from chapter to chapter, which can be confusing at times, but ultimately serves to underline how Abel’s decisions have had effects on nearly all of his living relatives. This book really dives deep into the idea of inter-generational, since it also explores Abel’s own ancestry and the legacy of slavery that looms over his family. I really liked the first 85% of this book, but the ending was just a little rushed and came out of nowhere. Had Card had an extra fifty pages to resolve and weave in the last few chapters to the overall narrative I think it would have been more successful. I will definitely be keeping an eye out for future novels from Maisy Card!

My Favorite Memories of My 24th Year

Even though my 24th year didn’t exactly come to the end that I was expecting (i.e. we are currently on lockdown here in California for the foreseeable future due to COVID-19), this past year was a pretty good one overall. There definitely were some low-points, but there were also a lot of really high highs, and I know that those moments are the ones I will remember. I can’t wait to see what 25 has in store and since we spent my birthday in lockdown, it’s definitely made me take stock and feel a lot of gratitude for what I have at this moment in time.

Going Climbing Outside for the First Time ~ 24 was the year that Brad and I got really into climbing. I had climbed a little bit in high school and it was something I was always exposed to since I have quite a few family members who are really into rock climbing, but I had never taken a huge interest in it till this last year. Brad and I started going to the gym about 3-4 times per week and started to get really antsy to finally climb outside a bit. Luckily my uncle, who is a really experienced climber, took us out one afternoon to a local crag and I had my first go at climbing outside. To say it’s more difficult than climbing in a gym would be an understatement, but the rush you get being 30+ feet off the ground, standing on the tiniest footholds, and crimping like there’s no tomorrow is absolutely unmatched. More than anything, it’s felt really rewarding to find a lifelong sport in climbing, which is something I honestly never guessed would happen at this age.

Dinner Parties with Friends ~ We really leaned into having a lot of dinner parties with friends this year. I’ve definitely reached an age, along with my friends, that going over to each other’s houses, drinking wine, and cooking dinner is so much more fun than going out to the club. My group of friends decided that we would do both Friendsgiving and Friendsmas, which were so much fun and I think we will continue this tradition for years to come. I absolutely love hosting and cooking and it’s so much more fun when you get to share it with your best friends.

Our Trip to Alaska ~ This past September we took a cruise through the Inside Passage in Alaska with Brad’s family and it was an incredible trip! I’ve been to Alaska twice prior to this past trip, however I had never been to that part of Alaska. The scenery was absolutely incredible and we were lucky enough to see the Northern Lights, which is pretty rare for the time of year we were visiting and how far south we were. Brad and I also got a lot of great quality time together and we were both able to really switch off from work (which is rare for us) because our cell service was so minimal throughout the trip.

Getting Engaged! ~ I think this is pretty obvious, but getting engaged was the highlight of my 24th year. The day that Brad proposed was easily the best and happiest day of my life thus far. The proposal itself was such a surprise and I am so happy he involved my sister and her boyfriend to document the whole thing so we can look back on the video and the photos year after year. Brad and I have been together for 3.5 years and lived together for almost two years and honestly I didn’t think being engaged would change our relationship too much, but it definitely has for the better. I definitely feel a whole new level of commitment, even though we were obviously very committed before he proposed, and having our wedding to look forward to is so fun and exciting.

Budget-Friendly Self-Care Ideas

Right now, more than ever, the majority of us are in need of some serious self-care. While indulging in a pampering routine and using luxury products can feel nice, I wanted to talk about self-care activities that truly help my mental health and that don’t break the bank. A lot of these things cost very little to no money to do and I’ve found help me get out of my head when life gets stressful. I hope these suggestions help you to feel a little less anxious and help to lift your mood.

Reading ~ This is something I’ve been talking a lot about recently, but honestly reading is one of the best self-care activities I can rely on during stressful times like these. In order to keep reading affordable for myself, I have mainly been using my Kindle and renting ebooks from my local library (most libraries have this sort of system, so make sure you research it). I really only purchase physical books when I have a gift card to my favorite local bookstores or when I am really excited about a book and expect to reread or pass it on to a loved one after I’m done reading it. Not only does reading offer a really nice and much needed break from screens, but it also allows you to immerse yourself in another world, which is honestly the thing I love most about reading. I especially try to allocate time to read before bed, because it helps me to not think about the stresses of the day and it helps me fall asleep easier.

Yoga ~ I used to do yoga all the time when I was in college and then I fell off the wagon for awhile. I recently got back into yoga this past January through doing the Yoga With Adriene 30 Day Yoga challenge. Doing yoga for thirty days consecutively made me rediscover my love for the practice and made me realize how much I missed it in my every day life. While we’ve been practicing social distancing through all of this COVID-19 craziness, I’ve been doing yoga every day through the Yoga With Adriene YouTube channel and it’s honestly one of the best things I’ve ever done for both my physical and mental health. Most of the practices are very beginner-friendly and aren’t particularly long.

Give Yourself A Manicure ~ Out of all of the pampering-type self-care activities, doing a manicure on myself is one of the most relaxing things I can think of doing. Unlike other pampering things like taking a bath or doing a face mask, doing a manicure actually requires a lot of focus, which I find much more useful when I am feeling really anxious or stressed about other things. In being really focused on painting my nails, even though it’s a superfluous task, I am distracted from all of the other craziness going on in the world and even if that lasts for just a quick 30 minutes, it helps me find center again.

Doing A Puzzle ~ Brad and I love doing puzzles together. I think like painting my nails, doing a puzzle is a somewhat mindless task that takes a lot of focus. It’s so easy to get lost in a 1000 piece puzzle for the entire day and it’s so fun and rewarding to see the final result. I feel like getting your mind stimulated is such an under-rated way of practicing self-care, and I cannot recommend it enough (especially if it means spending less time in front of screens).

Brain Dump In Your Journal ~ I tend to journal a lot when I’m in a funk or if I’m going through a particularly anxious period. I love the ritual of getting up early in the morning, sitting at my desk with a cup of tea and taking a solid 15-20 minutes to just get all of my thoughts out of my head and onto paper. Using that time to release all of my feelings is incredibly therapeutic and even if you don’t make any huge breakthroughs during your time writing, it’s nice at the very least to just have some quiet time to sit with your thoughts and think about how you’re feeling on any given day.

FaceTime or Call A Loved One ~ I’ll be honest, I don’t use FaceTime all that much, but since we’ve been under shelter-in-place here in California for the last few weeks, I’ve been using it so much more to talk to friends and family. Of course it can never replace the feeling of seeing someone in person but it does lift your mood to reach out and talk to someone. I feel like when people talk about self-care, it’s usually a solitary practice, but I think there’s just as much to be said for self-care that involves talking to your loved ones.

Bake Some Treats ~ Baking is my ultimate stress relief and it has been since I was little. I love the concentration and precision it takes to bake something, but also that it’s a full sensory experience. Some recipes also take up the better part of a day so it’s a nice thing to do when you have a lot of time to kill and you don’t want to spend that time parked in front of a screen. One of the best things about baking is that you get to enjoy the fruits of your labor for days to come and there’s nothing like indulging in a cookie before bed as another little act of self-care.

What I Read in 2020 | January & February

Last year I completed by goal of reading 30 books and actually ended up reading 35, which I am super proud of. As a result of beating my goal from last year, as well as the fact that reading so much improved my overall mental wellbeing (we love decreasing screen time!), I decided to up my reading goal to 40 books this year and I’ve already gotten off to a good start. Because my reading goal is so hefty this year, I’ve decided that instead of writing up my book recaps on a seasonal basis, I’m going to switch to monthly recaps. Now I did miss December and January since I made this decision this morning to switch up the consistency of these posts, but I will just be lumping December, January and February together for the sake of today’s post.

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood ~ I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to read the Hand Maid’s Tale! I’ve read other Margaret Atwood books during my school days and loved them, but kind of avoided reading Handmaid’s Tale because it had been so hyped up and because, quite frankly, I thought it would be too depressing given our current political climate. When the Testaments (the sequel) came out last year, I felt compelled to finally read The Handmaids Tale, and while I do think the book is very hyped up, there’s good reason for it. I really love Atwood’s writing and I don’t think it’s necessarily for everyone but I enjoyed it and will definitely be reading the Testaments in the coming months!

Ritz and Escoffier by Luke Barr ~ My friend was reading this book over the holidays and after I read the Handmaid’s Tale, I definitely needed something a bit more lighthearted to read. This book is a nonfictional account of the opening of the Savoy Hotel in London and the history behind the development of high-end hotels. I found this book so fun to read, and if you aren’t much into non-fiction or historical books, it honestly is so engaging that it reads like fiction. I recommend this to anyone who is intrigued by the Gilded Age or just wants a fun and somewhat indulgent read!

The Gown by Jennifer Robson ~ Following off of the prior book, I was definitely in the mood for some more historical-based books. That combined with the fact that The Crown had just come back, I was in desperate need for a royal-related book and one random search of Goodreads later, I found The Gown. This book is about two women who are seamstresses in the atelier that make Queen Elizabeth II’s wedding gown. The book flips back and forth between the 1940s when the gown was being made to the present day, which explores the life of the granddaughter of one of the women who made the gown and details her search to find out more about her grandmother’s past. I really recommend this book for those who are interested in historical fiction and the British Royal Family.

The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates ~ This is Ta-Nahesi Coates’ first work of fiction and I really enjoyed it. The book revolves around a young man named Hiram Walker who was born into slavery and by an almost magical/mystical experience, decides that he is going to escape. Even though he successfully escapes, he is pulled back to the plantation by the need to free his loved ones from bondage. The story is absolutely incredible, beautifully written, and intensely thought-provoking. I also loved how Coates weaved in elements of magical realism in a way that felt organic and enhancing to the story.

How To Do Nothing by Jenny Odell ~ This book had been on my list of books to-read for awhile and I started reading it at a particularly stressful time where I was feeling incredibly burnt out from work and then ended up having the flu for over a week and was forced to be bedridden. The title is definitely a bit tongue-in-cheek but the message Odell conveys is crucial to our day-in-age. Odell’s thesis centers around the idea that our attention is a commodity in the modern world and it is being taken advantage of almost 24/7 between technology, social media, work, and capitalism and her methods on resisting what she deems the “attention economy”. I loved this book and was recommending it to everyone in my real life. I love that so much of what Odell talks about is rooted in real research and cultural critique rather than being a simple how-to guide on how to use your phone less.

Three Women by Lisa Taddeo ~ Woah baby this book caused quite a stir! This book was based on about a decade worth of research on three different women and their sex lives. The premise is extremely interesting, but the execution definitely fell short for me. The main issue that I had with the book was how little diversity their was within all the women’s stories; their all white, middle-class, and heterosexual. In the introduction Taddeo sets out to make some overarching claims about women’s sexuality, but, to me, that’s an impossible task when your sample of women come from relatively similar socio-economic backgrounds. The narrative style also was a bit too fictionalized for me and contained zero analysis, which is something I expected to get. I wouldn’t say I flat-out don’t recommend that book, but I certainly wouldn’t expect to get a lot of deep insights out of it.

Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino ~ Talk about another book that got a lot of hype in 2019, but unlike Three Women I absolutely loved Trick Mirror. If you haven’t already heard of Jia Tolentino, she’s an essayist for the New Yorker and the New York Times, I believe, and she writes a lot about millennial culture and politics. The book is a collection of essays on “self-delusion”, which honestly meant nothing to me when I first read that subtitle, but I was intrigued. The essays range from discussions of social media, marriage and weddings, and optimization culture. The book definitely errs more on the intellectual side and you might find yourself googling terms while you’re reading this book, but her humor adds much needed levity to otherwise heavy topics.

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong ~ A few of my friends had read this book in 2019 and recommended that I read it. Vuong is first a foremost a poet and this book is technically a novel, but it’s written in a very poetic way. The book is written as a series of letters from a son to his mother, and those letters chronicle his family’s immigration to the United States from Vietnam, his identity as a member of the LGBT community, racism, and class. I really loved this book and it is a beautiful read, I can’t wait to see what Vuong’s future novels will be!

The Course of Love by Alain de Botton ~ After Brad and I got engaged, I was fully immersed in wedding culture and wanted to read some good books about marriage. This book constantly came up in my searches and I really enjoyed it. The book is a work of fiction, but it is one of the most realistic portrayals of marriage and relationships I have ever seen both in books or film. If you love realistic portrayals of relationships, I highly recommend this book.

Dear Girls by Ali Wong ~ To say I love Ali Wong would be the understatement of the century. Not only is she a native San Franciscan like me, but her comedy specials are some of the best I’ve ever seen. I even went to see her with one of my best friends this past winter and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder in my entire life. I loved the format of this book; she wrote about different topics in letters to her two daughters. The book is both heartwarming and hilarious and honestly I aspire to have the kind of marriage that she has with her husband. I also learned so much about her journey getting into standup and her work ethic is incredibly inspiring.

Little Things I Do To Save Money

As I mentioned in my post all about my goals for 2020, I am working really hard in the next year to save money. Part of the reason I’m really focused on saving, is because I’ve reached the point in my twenties where I’m just generally turning into more of a saver than a spender. I’m not that interested in buying things just for the sake of buying them, and it brings me far more joy to see my savings account increase than to have more material things in my life. I also have a lot of larger expenses approaching in the next few years that I am working towards, such as paying for our wedding and hopefully being able to buy a house in the next few years, both of which require a pretty regimented approach to saving! Here is a run-down of all the small things that I’ve done to cut back my spending and grow my savings.

Weekly Auto-Transfer to Savings Account ~ This might seem like an obvious one, but setting up auto-transfer every week from your checking to your savings, is one of the easiest ways to save consistently and substantially over long periods of time. I have a running auto-transfer from my checking to my savings that runs every single Monday morning to ensure that I am saving a minimum amount of money. Of course I make other, larger transfers to my savings on a regular basis as well, but having a recurring transfer helps to stay on track with saving a certain amount every month no matter what!

Keep Track Monthly of Your Recurring Expenses ~ It’s so easy now-a-days that everything is a subscription to lose track of everything you are paying for on a monthly basis. Between Spotify, Netflix, those random app purchases, and utility bills, it can be really easy for your monthly expenses to add up even though they might seem small when you sign up for them. I like to go through my monthly statement every month to keep track of my monthly subscription costs and make sure I’m actually using all the things I’m paying for, and if I’m no longer using them, they get cancelled immediately!

Think About Large Purchases for Over One Month ~ One of the things that can absolutely ruin your savings is spontaneous purchases. Something might seem really appealing and it might offer some instant gratification having a #treatyoself moment, and while I’m all for treating yourself, I think there’s a way to go about it in a more responsible and conscious way. Whenever I want something that costs more than $50 I try to think about it for over a month before purchasing (of course this mainly goes for superfluous things and not necessities like food and other expenses). Most of the time, if I let several weeks pass, I’ve forgotten all about the item that I had previously been dying to purchase, and if I truly have not gotten it out of my head, done proper research on the item, and have visualized using whatever item it is in my daily life, then it is likely that it will be a purchase worth making!

Spend Time Taking Care of Yourself ~ Ok this one may sound like a weird one, but I find when I am taking care of myself best, i.e. getting good sleep, exercising regularly, spending time outdoors and seeing friends and family I am less likely to spend emotionally. The periods of my life where I have been the least fulfilled and the least happy are the times where I spend superfluously. This might not be the case for everyone, but I have found that when I am taking care of myself, which often requires spending little to no money, I am less likely to seek out short-term happiness in the form of buying things unnecessarily.