I know its a bit clichéd to be writing a post like this given the day this will be going live (i.e. Valentine's Day). However, I'm willing to embrace the cliché because I it's one of the most important topics I've wanted to discuss on this space. I know especially in the last few years there has been a lot about #selflove circulating throughout the internet, especially on social media platforms like Instagram. I am completely for people touting how much they love themselves on social media especially when its paired with a picture of the person looking unapologetically human, flaws and all, because we all know that we are bombarded with enough pictures of perfect looking people on Instagram (most of which are edited to the umpteenth degree). In other words, it's been nice to see an air of authenticity come through on more and more social media accounts, especially those of influencers.
While it's great to see people flaunting their #selflove it can be incredibly difficult to be exposed to when you aren't feeling like you love yourself entirely. One of the worst parts of social media is that it breeds comparing yourself to others and I know that when I've felt at my lowest and I see someone's post all about them embracing self-love, it has made me feel like, "why can't I just love myself the way they do so easily". But that's exactly the point of self-love, it isn't easy and it isn't a quick fix. It can be an incredibly difficult thing to feel, and perhaps more importantly its a process to feel self-love.
My relationship with myself has often been a complicated one. I have never been afraid to be unapologetically me, and I genuinely don't care what people (especially total strangers think about me), because at the end of the day I have a great family and great friends who love and support me. However, I'm also incredibly hard on myself and have often struggled with perfectionism, so, even though I may be proud of who I am, I haven't always been proud of myself (if that makes any sense). At the beginning of this summer I struggled intensely with self-doubt and feeling like I wasn't good enough, which majorly took a toll on how much I loved myself and my self-confidence. Feeling that bad about myself, made me feel like I was a completely different version of myself that I didn't like, because of that I made a concerted effort to really get to the bottom of why I didn't love myself and why I didn't feel good enough. And, believe me, its hard to be that honest and have those conversations with yourself. I have gone in waves since then of feeling great and wanting to tout #selflove on Instagram, to the next day feeling like crap.
Self-love isn't a box to tick off on your to-do list and it also isn't something that you have to do alone. Of course, it isn't good for your self-esteem to be wrapped up in someone else whether it be in a romantic relationship or a friendship, but sometimes those closest to us can get us out of our own heads and show us why we should love ourselves.