My Goals for 2020

I’m not usually one for making New Year’s resolutions, because I don’t love the idea of setting a year time limit to accomplish some task or form some habit. However, I do like setting long-term goals for myself (but I’m not necessarily limiting myself to achieving them within a year). While some of these goals are a bit more on the long-term end of the goal-setting spectrum, I also try not to set goals that are unrealistic or downright unachievable. So without further ado, here are my 20 goals for 2020:

1. Read 40 books in 2020 (I read 35 in 2019)!

2. Continue climbing at least once a week.

3. Pass my lead climbing test at my gym.

4. Cook dinner at home at least 5 nights per week.

5. Bring my lunch to work at least 4 times per week.

6. Spend more time outside on a daily basis, whether that’s going on a walk before work, or taking time to journal on our back porch.

7. Work on organizing our apartment on a regular basis!

8. Declutter my closet and really pare back my wardrobe.

9. Start investing and saving more of my money! (I’ve worked very hard on paring back my spending in 2019)

10. Continue to put my physical and mental well-being first and use more productive coping mechanisms to deal with stress.

11. Blog and write more!

12. Begin doing more freelance writing for local publications.

13. Discover more music in 2020!

14. Keep wedding planning stress to a minimum.

15. Find a way to stay informed going into this election year without getting stressed or overwhelmed (hey a girl can dream)!

16. Get involved in whichever candidate’s campaign speaks to me most and volunteer!

17. Try more new restaurants and explore more San Francisco neighborhoods that I haven’t spent much time in.

18. Go on more date nights with Brad!

19. Journal more as a way to chart my mood and my emotions and remind me to stay present.

20. Move to another state! Eeep, I can’t believe I’m writing this one down, but Brad and I have a big move out of California planned for this summer and I am simultaneously incredibly excited and extremely nervous. I will be sharing a lot more about this process in the coming months once more things are finalized but a new adventure awaits us in the middle of 2020!

Recent Favorites | Winter

It’s been ages since I talked about anything beauty-related, mainly because there’s honestly not much new in my routine as a whole. I’ve made a real effort over the past year to curtail frivolous purchases, which has meant the purchases I have made in the beauty space have either been repurchases or purchases that have been heavily researched!

Olive & June nail polish ~ I’ve been going nail polish free for the majority of the last few months, mainly because I’ve been rock climbing at least once a week, which is a sure fire way to destroy a manicure. Over the holidays I decided to get back into painting my nails, mainly because it’s enjoy the ritual of it and I tend to enjoy more fall and wintery shades over spring or summer ones. I decided to give a few Olive and June nail polishes a try when they were doing their Black Friday sale and I was very pleasantly surprised! The company started out as an LA-based nail salon and they just started developing their own nail polishes this year. Not only are they incredibly reasonable (at $8 a bottle, which is less than Essie or OPI), but the formula is incredibly long-lasting! The shade range they do have is awesome, but is a bit limited compared to some more established brands, so I hope they develop more shades in the future!

T3 Convertible System ~ I’ve had the same curling wand since I was a sophomore in high school, which means that it’s nearing ten years old. It was a cheap curling iron that I got from the drugstore, but nevertheless it has never given me issues or stopped working so I kept using it. I finally decided to upgrade this fall, when my old curling iron really started showing it was reaching the end of it’s life (i.e. it was no longer heating up the way it should have). I had heard a lot of great things about T3 as a brand, and even though their products are definitely on the pricier side, I have found that hair tools are worth the investment because they can last for years! I loved the concept of the T3 convertible line because you buy a base, which has different temperature settings and then you buy the barrel part as a separate attachment, so if you want to use your curling iron for multiple types of hair styles, you can easily do that without collecting multiple curling irons. I currently have the Tousled Waves barrel (1.25”-0.75” tapered barrel) and the Undone Waves barrel (1” straight barrel), both of which I love although I have been using the tapered barrel more since my hair is shorter now.

Charlotte Tilbury Magic Away Concealer ~ I am always on the look out for a good under eye concealer. I have always had dark under eye circles, they’re genetic and no eye cream will ever get rid of them, so concealer is really my only option is concealer. I don’t have an issue finding concealers that I like the texture of, however I do find issue with a lot of issues with the shades a lot of under eye concealers come in, they’re either too yellow, or too bright (i.e. you get the reverse panda look which is not cute). I had heard a lot of good things about the Charlotte Tilbury Magic Away concealer, so once I had finished my other concealer I decided to give this one a try and I love it! The consistency is really nice and light, although it gives a healthy amount of coverage, but the shade is really what I’m impressed with. It’s peachy enough to cancel out the blueish/purple tone of my under eye circles, without looking so vastly different from my actual skin tone.

IGK Mistress Hair Balm ~ After I finished my beloved HairStory Hair Balm, I decided to give a new hair product a try just to mix things up a bit! I went off the advice of the girl who gives me ultimate curly hair envy, Man Repeller’s Harling Ross. In her hair routine, she mentions how much she loves the IGK Mistress Hair Balm as basically her singular hair styling product, which is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for, since I don’t like to use loads and loads of product in my hair and I want something that can kind of do it all. I wouldn’t say this is leagues better than the HairStory Hair Balm (which I 100% still love), but it is very comparable in how it moisturizes the hair, defines a curl, and keeps frizz at bay!

What I Read This Autumn | 2019

After the summer, I increased my reading goal from 25 books in 2019 to 35 books! I was reading ferociously over the summer and knew that habit would continue well into the Fall since I had a good chunk of time off in September. I ended up reading a total of 11 books over the course of the Fall and loved so many of the books I read during this season.

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng ~ Celeste Ng was an author I was very interested in last year given that her second book Little Fires Everywhere was a hugely popular release! One of my friends told me that I should read her first book Everything I Never Told You first because it is super well-written, easy to read, and is not nearly as hyped up as Little Fires Everywhere (although in my opinion it should be). This book follows the Lee family after their beloved daughter Lydia has died. It’s not clear in the beginning whether she has committed suicide or she was a victim of murder, but rather than the book being a classic ”who dunnit?”, it focuses more on her individual relationships with her family members as they grieve her death. While this book is incredibly heartbreaking, it is stunningly written!

The Dinner List by Rebecca Serle ~ What a fun piece of magical realism this book was! The Dinner List plays off the commonly asked question “If you could have five people, living or dead, at a dinner part who would you pick?” Sabrina, the main character comes to her thirtieth birthday dinner and is met with some surprising guests, some of whom include her ex-boyfriend Tobias, her father, and Audrey Hepburn. While the premise seems a bit fluffy, there are some very heavy themes in this book when it comes to love and loss. Would definitely recommend this for anyone interested in both chick-lit and magical realism.

French Exit by Patrick DeWitt ~ This was one of the books I read this Autumn that I really didn’t enjoy. The plot is focused on a wealthy widow and her son, who face bankruptcy and essentially run away to Paris to avoid ridicule from their wealthy friends in New York. While the plot sounded intriguing to me, it didn’t end up materializing into much and ultimately fell flat.

One Day in December by Josie Silver ~ I never thought a Chick-Lit book would be one of my favorite books of this year but I was wrong! This book takes the whole concept of falling in love at first sight and puts it in book form. The main character, Laurie, catches the eye of a complete stranger at a bus stop on a random day in December and thinks she’s found “the one”. She searches for this mystery man everywhere, only to meet him at a Christmas party as her best friend’s new boyfriend. As you can predict, what comes next is some serious turmoil. I absolutely loved this book because while it’s romantic and cheesy at times, it’s not over the top and most of the book is very realistic in its portrayal of both friendships and romantic relationships.

Calypso by David Sedaris ~ I love David Sedaris and everyone and their mother has been talking about Calypso so I thought I would finally get around to reading it when I had a trip planned and would have time to whiz through this book on the plane. While the hype around this book was a bit nuts, it was a very funny read and one that I would definitely recommend if you are in the mood for a good laugh.

The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary ~ This one was recommended by one of my friends who absolutely loved this book! The book is about two twenty-somethings who live in London and share a flat together but never actually cross paths (one works evenings, the other works during the day), however when they inevitably do cross paths, sparks fly! It does sound pretty corny from the outset but it was super well-written and not too fluffy for a rom-com style book.

The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne ~ Delving into something a bit heavier, I had heard so many people sing the praises of this book earlier this year and put it on my list! Cyril Avery, the main character, was adopted by a couple when he was a baby, and while he was close to his adopted parents he never felt as though he belonged. The book is wide in its scope, ranging from Cyril’s childhood and spans into his old age. The book is a real tearjerker and hits on some heavy topics like exploring one’s sexuality, the AIDS epidemic, and the loss of friendships. This is a book I would 100% recommend.

Say, Say, Say by Lila Savage ~ This is Lila Savage’s debut novel and it was a pretty good one at that! I definitely thought it was a bit on the short side, but overall I enjoyed it and thought the writing was beautiful! The book is about a young woman named Ella who is a caretaker and becomes entrenched in the lives of Jill (the woman she takes care of) and her husband Brian. Ella is caught in somewhat of a crisis, having just turned thirty and having no real direction or security in her life, so she leans on the relationship of Brian and Jill to give her solace even though their situation is heartbreaking for different reasons.

The Dutch House by Ann Patchett ~ I haven’t full decided, but I think this is my favorite book I’ve read this year. This came as another recommendation from a friend who was absolutely obsessed with this book! The story is about two kids who grow up in this old historic home and are later kicked out of the house by their awful step-mother after their father dies. What follows is a meandering tale about the kid’s adult lives and how the house symbolizes both everything beautiful and tragic about their childhoods. I haven’t read any other Ann Patchett books, but I definitely will be in the new year.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb ~ Another book that absolutely stuck with me and I will most likely be re-reading in the future. Lori Gottlieb is a psychologist in Los Angeles, who sees a myriad of different patients with a myriad of different issues. When she faces a major crisis in her life, she seeks therapy herself. The book is interwoven between her patient’s stories as well as her own story seeking therapy. It definitely goes to show that everyone has their own issues and no one ever has everything figured out.

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah ~ Sorry to end on a sour note but I did not get the hype with this book. It had a solid 4+ stars on GoodReads, which is rare for a book this popular. The story itself could have been incredible, as it was about the French resistance during WWII and two sisters who fight Nazi forces in their own, individual ways. However, I thought this book was way too long and it definitely dragged on at times. Ultimately I thought the writing fell flat and did nothing to make this a compelling book even though it had the potential to be an extremely compelling read.

The Little Things I Do To Take Care of My Mental Health

Over the past year I have become more and more conscious and diligent about how my daily routines effect my mental health. I’ve made it my number one priority to take care of my mental health and be more aware of it, because the year prior I wasn’t nearly as diligent and it suffered as a result. For a bit of backstory, I have suffered with anxiety and depression ever since I was a young teen, and luckily it has been pretty manageable for the majority of the time. I’m also incredibly lucky to have an amazing support system of friends and family who I can talk to about my mental health without feeling shame or like their’s a stigma around my condition.

After I graduated college two and a half years ago, I was going through a particularly rocky transition of not knowing what I wanted to do, which for someone like me, who is a planner and a high-achiever was an incredibly hard pill to swallow and my mental health plummeted as a result. About 8 months after graduation I realized I couldn’t deal with this all on my own and I needed to seek professional help to manage my stress and anxiety. Going to therapy has been the best thing I have done for my mental health by a long-shot, however, if there’s one thing my therapist has taught me, it’s that doing the hard work in therapy is ultimately on YOU not your therapist. That means that the in-between time between sessions are the periods where you will progress and see the most change because you are putting all of those tools from therapy into practice in your real life.

While therapy has been such an integral role in my mental health improving, there are so many small adjustments I’ve made in my day-to-day life that have improved my mental health and the consistency of me feeling well emotionally. Here’s a list of some of those things, it is by no means exhaustive and these aren’t necessarily things I do every single day, but I do them as frequently as possible.

~ Spend quality time completely by myself - I am an introvert by nature and that means I need a good chunk of time during the week to be on my own but also have that time be spent in a productive and present way (i.e. not vegging out on the couch watching Netflix all day).

~ Journaling regularly - This is something I need to do more often and I’m thinking about committing to journaling every day to some degree in the new year. Journalling is such a great tool for consciously checking in with your emotions on a daily basis and especially when paired with a daily gratitude reminder or affirmation it can really help to lift my mood during stressful periods.

~ Getting enough sleep & waking up early - I can pretty much track my stress levels by my quality of sleep. If I had it my way, I’d be in bed by 8:30 most nights and then up around 5:30, what can I say I’m a granny! Ever since I was little I’ve always needed a lot of sleep, but I’ve also always preferred to be early to bed and early to rise. When I go to bed too late and don’t get enough hours of sleep in a night it negatively affects my mood and my handle on my anxiety. Luckily I have a job that I don’t take home too much so I can be quite strict with myself about not responding to emails or doing other work-related tasks and I don’t have to stay up at all hours of the night finishing up work.

~ Exercising & playing outdoors - Being outside I think is the number one thing that will instantly lift my mood if I’m in the midst of a particularly anxious period. Incorporating activities like hiking and rock climbing into my weekly routine have been such game changers with my mental health

~ Making plans with the people I love - As much as I am an introvert, sometimes when I’m feeling my worst mental health-wise and I want to just be on my own, are the times that I need to reach out and be with my friends and family most. I’m lucky enough to have the most amazing fiancé (omg that’s the first time I’m referring to Brad as my fiancé in writing!), friends, and family to support me and lift me up when I’m feeling like garbage. Something my therapist told me early on, that has really stuck with me, is that even when I’m feeling my most introverted and want to spend time on my own, spending time with loved ones won’t pull from my social stores as much as I think it will. Being with other people and talking with others is such a good distraction from whatever is going on in my head and can serve as a good dose of perspective.

Let me know what you do to take care of your mental health in the comments below!

Exciting Life Updates

I did have another post planned for today but some exciting life events came up over the weekend and I’d thought I’d share them with you all! Over the Thanksgiving holiday, Brad (my boyfriend of three years) and I got engaged! It still feels completely surreal saying and/or writing those words but I could not be more thrilled. A lot of the details of the engagement I want to keep private, but I will say that it was the most perfect proposal and it really felt so true to us as a couple. We were out on a hike with my sister and her boyfriend and at the end of the hike, as we were taking pictures he got down on one knee and popped the question! I’m incredibly grateful that Brad got my sister and her boyfriend involved in the whole plan to document the entire proposal, I now have a video and pictures I will cherish and look back on for the rest of my life.

Because Brad and I have been together for quite awhile, getting married was something we had talked about for a little while now. As prepared as I thought I was, once Brad got down on one knee, I completely blacked out, something I’ve heard a lot of people talk about in regards to getting proposed to. I almost immediately started crying and was so excited and emotional that I didn’t say the word “yes” out loud immediately, just a quick “mhmmm”! Of course as soon as I regained my control over my emotions I said yes and Brad put the ring on my finger! I am so incredibly excited and happy and while I didn’t think being engaged would feel that different from us dating, it definitely does, and in the best ways possible. It’s been so exciting to spend the last week telling all of our friends and family the news and seeing them get just as excited as us. I am so lucky to have found my person and I cannot wait to see what this next chapter holds.

Of course the next logical question I’m sure all of you have on your minds is: “When’s the wedding?!”, a question I have fielded A LOT in the last week! Simply put: we’re not totally sure! We know that we aren’t in a rush have a wedding, however these things do take quite a bit of time to plan and organize so we will probably start the very basics of planning in the new year. Of course I will be sharing some of the planning along the way but it definitely won’t be the sole focus of my content in 2020.